Tag Archives: research

The Depravity of Deprived Sleep

I’m conducting an unintentional socio-scientific experiment involving layered sleep deprivation over a prolonged period of time. I myself am the main test subject in the study, alongside with a couple of my flatmates and friends.

My theory thus far is that prolonged lack of sleep may have some detrimental side effects on a few of life’s smaller matters such as work productivity, perceived mental capacity, hormonal/emotional balance,  sense of humour, and general life longevity.

With “nights sleep” as our unit of measure, being roughly equal to a 12 hour night time period: The deprivation for during the period of 4 normal nights sleep has been assigned to the test subjects as follows:

  • Subject C was allowed 2.5 nights sleep out of 4 nights,
  • Subject B was allowed 2 nights sleep out of 4 nights,
  • Subject A was allowed 1.5 nights sleep out of 4 nights.

For the sake of scientific research and the good of mankind, Subject A has been requested to perform their own psychoanalysis and record their notes so that the researchers may better understand the effects of this depravity. These notes are attached below:

  1. Subject A appears to demonstrate a complete lack of respect for writing in the first person.
  2. Subject A shows an astounding level of higher intelligence by assigning themselves into the role of lead researcher. Brilliant science will now follow.
  3. Subject A has taken on a serious note and observed that 1 side effect of not sleeping for a night is the brain doesn’t sort the days thoughts out during the night. No sleep=no brain refresh=same thought patterns=banana sandwich for lunch(Last point not relevant but very true none the less).
  4. Subject A finds themselves thinking on the same trains of thought even up to 30 hours after a thought’s ‘best before date’ has passed.
  5. Subject A is expressing what appears to be erratic behaviour but is actually more normal than the average human sleeping.
  6. Subject A has decided to reallocate research funding towards a more pressing social/economic matter; that of the caffeine drip via intravenous administration.

That is all.

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