Tag Archives: coffee

The Depravity of Deprived Sleep

I’m conducting an unintentional socio-scientific experiment involving layered sleep deprivation over a prolonged period of time. I myself am the main test subject in the study, alongside with a couple of my flatmates and friends.

My theory thus far is that prolonged lack of sleep may have some detrimental side effects on a few of life’s smaller matters such as work productivity, perceived mental capacity, hormonal/emotional balance,  sense of humour, and general life longevity.

With “nights sleep” as our unit of measure, being roughly equal to a 12 hour night time period: The deprivation for during the period of 4 normal nights sleep has been assigned to the test subjects as follows:

  • Subject C was allowed 2.5 nights sleep out of 4 nights,
  • Subject B was allowed 2 nights sleep out of 4 nights,
  • Subject A was allowed 1.5 nights sleep out of 4 nights.

For the sake of scientific research and the good of mankind, Subject A has been requested to perform their own psychoanalysis and record their notes so that the researchers may better understand the effects of this depravity. These notes are attached below:

  1. Subject A appears to demonstrate a complete lack of respect for writing in the first person.
  2. Subject A shows an astounding level of higher intelligence by assigning themselves into the role of lead researcher. Brilliant science will now follow.
  3. Subject A has taken on a serious note and observed that 1 side effect of not sleeping for a night is the brain doesn’t sort the days thoughts out during the night. No sleep=no brain refresh=same thought patterns=banana sandwich for lunch(Last point not relevant but very true none the less).
  4. Subject A finds themselves thinking on the same trains of thought even up to 30 hours after a thought’s ‘best before date’ has passed.
  5. Subject A is expressing what appears to be erratic behaviour but is actually more normal than the average human sleeping.
  6. Subject A has decided to reallocate research funding towards a more pressing social/economic matter; that of the caffeine drip via intravenous administration.

That is all.

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New Perspective

Fresh PerspectiveHi there,

You may not remember me, but I wrote some stuff here a while back. I thought it wasn’t too bad, but I’m definitely biased.

Today is a Sunday, ‘normal’ Christians are doing church right now. I’m feeling abnormal today, but its not my fault because I woke up with a fresh twisted perspective on my life and life in general. You see, I awoke this morning in the same frame of mind that I went to sleep with last night, I had honestly hoped it would have rearranged itself in that time, but it turns out blind optimism doesn’t do deliveries overnight, its more of a 3-5 business day sort of thing.

I’m laying spread-eagled on my back, staring up at the ceiling above my bed. Suddenly it occurs to me in my deepest knower-of-things, that nothing is holding me back or tying me down. I have a free will and a creative mind. I don’t have to stay in this town, I don’t have to live near my family, I don’t have to keep this job, I don’t have to live in this country. I don’t even have to love this girl or that girl. I. can. do. any-thing.

My mind buzzing, it races through the suddenly available options. If this, my life was a movie or a computer game… If my character has discovered himself to be in a new land… what would I want him to do? …where would I make him go, and who would I make him become? 

Will I travel across Europe as a wandering artist, painting and photographing my journey? Will I live under an overpass in America, sleeping on cardboard at night, and painting the pavement with chalk during the day? Will I take up a cause in Rwanda, giving my life to help people who can’t help themselves? Will I turn a darker leaf, weasel my way into an underworld of dealing drugs and assassination plots?

The artist option tickles my fancy, so I start to plan what of my belongings I will sell, and what should get stored at my parents house. …selling my car will get me the ticket price to anywhere in the world. I’ll need an extra SD card for my camera, and a laptop to organise and upload my photos. That’s it really, I’m ready to go. I could leave within 3 days if I could sell my car that soon.

I’m 100% serious right now, I’m ready to drop off the radar. If I die over there, somewhere random, maybe no one ever finds my body, it’s only my body that dies, sad for my family and few friends, but I’ll see them again anyway. I’ll probably be fine though, statistics at least are on my side.

I’ll probably end my wandering eventually, find a random little town I like, somewhere in the world, maybe in Romania. I’ll find cheap accommodation and a crappy job. I’ll work it well though, planning my own plans. I’ll start a business, become an official on the town council, we’ll get better funding for the local school, and I’ll love our gatherings at the small village church. I’ll love a girl, buy a house, raise a family, have a pet something. I’ll wake up early every morning so I can look across my pillow at my wife’s face as she sleeps peacefully beside me; studying every freckle and every tiny wrinkle, loving them like they were the sweetest of small things.

By this time, I’ve had a shower, and now I’m finishing the last of my morning coffee with one final thought…

*I could do all of those things here in this life too.*

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